The Four-Step Boot Camp
One of the most effective ways to begin your transformation is to have an honest conversation with yourself—face to face. Do this four-step exercise in front a mirror every morning for just seven minutes and you’ll be amazed by what you learn about yourself and how quickly you gain control of where you’re going.
Look into your eyes in the mirror, and only your eyes—not at your hair, or your lips, or your skin, or your body. Breathe deeply for a minute to find your presence, and then complete the following steps, speaking out loud, if you can.
Step 1 – Acknowledge yourself
Begin by evaluating the four areas of your life:
- Success – your career, financial health, community involvement
- Health – your wellness, vitality, physical appearance
- Relationships – to yourself and with others
- Spirituality – your relationship with a higher power, the universe, or god
Speak directly to yourself in the mirror and acknowledge yourself. In so doing, you lift yourself up and celebrate your very being. Here’s how I do it:
“Lisa, I’m proud of you. I’m proud that you are playing a little bigger today than you played yesterday and last week. I’m proud that you are stretching yourself. I’m proud that you spent the first hour of the morning with God. I’m proud that you are spending more time with your son. I’m proud that you have chosen to eat healthier. I’m proud that you’ve drawn boundaries for yourself with your family. I’m proud that you made a decision to ask for help…”
Step 2 – Forgive yourself
Next, release your past.
We hold ourselves hostage to so many old thoughts and old regrets, so many should-haves, could-haves, and if onlys. Sometimes it’s at a steady low volume in our heads, like background music; other times we turn the volume up so loud that we can’t hear anything great coming out of ourselves.
Those experiences are part of you. It’s your job to learn how to love yourself and expect the best for yourself, regardless of what’s happened. It’s about shifting from all those places of negativity to possibility.
I’ve lived in those dark places. Do I slip up? You bet! I often feel myself lacing up the old boxing gloves and beating myself up. But as soon as I feel the first blow, I immediately take the gloves off, embrace myself, and apologize. In the mirror I tell myself, “I love you. I forgive you.” Then I move on.
And, no, it isn’t easy, especially when you’re dealing with deep-seated hurts and abuses from the past. For example, for years I turned to a lot of men for sex while looking for a little love, but I didn’t find any love because I was not loving myself.
I had let the abuses of my past define me. I had to work through my forgiveness every day until one day it didn’t come up anymore. You’ll know when you’ve worked through something, because it will no longer be an issue when you look in the mirror.
The best thing you can do is process it out. Once addressed, it will simply be a part of your history, not part of you. It doesn’t make you who you are anymore. You clean it out to make more space for all the goodness and the greatness that’s on is way to you. This allows your transformation to begin on a more profound level.
Step 3 – Determine where you need improvement
Next, take an honest assessment of the improvements you need to make in yourself to attract what you want. This can be sobering as well. You don’t get something because of luck. You get something because you’ve shown up and you are ready for it to come.
For me, every morning goes something like this:
“I need improvement in prioritizing my schedule to invest more in my physical health by working out. I need improvement in drawing better boundary lines inside my family. I need improvement in spending more quality time with my mother and grandmother…”
Be honest with yourself, because you’re laying important groundwork here.
Step 4 – Make a commitment
In this step you’re really designing the next chapter of your life. You’re telling the universe, this is what I’m committed to doing.
For example, “I’m committed to riding my bike at least three days a week, I’m committed to keeping my boundaries. I’m committed to finishing my book by June…”
You begin to speak the possibility inside your commitment. You’re beginning your transformation.
You’ve gone through your own personal boot camp. You’ve achieved a deep level of intimacy—“into me I see.” You’ve filled your own tank with love. You’ve built yourself up physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Now, you ask the universe to make your commitment happen. But don’t think your work is over. In our next blog post, we’ll talk about taking action.